Grumble, grumble

Yes, I'm not happy right now. Yeah, I'm still my happy go lucky self, but I just read a really interesting post that I totally agree with but need to disagree with at the same time. It's about teaching and how larger venues disrespect their teachers by paying them so little - so that it's actually costing the teacher to teach there. Yes, I totally agree here because it's true - I've experienced it first hand. ...and yes, I did teach a few years ago before my son was born - and at a pretty large show. I'm not that much of a nobody in the crochet world. :-)

The two years that I taught were dreams come true to me... this is where I start getting to the disagreeing part... I was teaching what I love to do - and teaching at a national conference. Sure, it was not covering all of the airfare, barely covered the hotel and meals, but it still helped cut down the cost than if I would have gone there without teaching. I enjoy teaching so much that many times I teach for free... I know I'm going to be blasted for saying that, but that's how I am. I get distracted with other stuff going on in my household to pump out dozens and dozens of designs each month, so I haven't had enough to submit to magazines, books or anything like that. When I do manage to get a little design together, I almost give it away to the yarn company that provided me the yarn. :-) I know that if I just sit down and get all of my ideas into designs I know that I can make a nice little business going here... and believe me, I have LOTS of ideas that are pretty unique. I wish I could show you my ideas books - filled with swatches, notes, stitch instructions and such. I was able to fill 4 of these notebooks with ideas when my son was a newborn. :-)

So, going back to the national conferences...

Unfortunately I got turned down for all 7 of my class proposals for this summers conference - it irritates me a bit because when I saw the list of classes that were accepted, there were a few that I personally would have taught someone to do for free - it's too simple and basic. But maybe that's what they wanted? Who knows... all I know is that I feel rejected. But even still, I'm sad because it will be yet another year that I will not be able to see some of my friends that I've made at those shows. Is being short paid as a teacher worth this? For me it is!!! :-) I'm wondering if anyone is going to remember who I am when I finally get to go to one of these conferences again. That would just kill me... "Pinka who?"

The blog that I read is by a very well known designer and teacher who can pretty much name her price and people will pay. She's a very talented woman and I can only wish to get the same kind of luck that she's had in the designing and teaching world. I respect her very much and would love to meet her one day. But she was talking about how she can make more money by teaching at smaller yarn shops and can get her bills paid. All I can say about that is WOW! I wish I could make enough to support my yarn habit! :-) If I tried to teach at any of the local yarn shops (and I don't have many out here), they'd just laugh me out of the shop. And this is that they know me! Can you imagine if I tried to approach any other shop?!?!?! I'd be a joke to them or they'd accuse me of prank calling. :-) :-)

Am I bitter about this? Nah... not that much. I like being a stay at home mom right now and look forward to working my way up to being able to get many of my crazy ideas in my little books 'out there' for other to see. :-) And if I ever become a 'known designer', I think I may still take the loss to go to one of these larger conferences because unlike teaching at the smaller yarn shops, these larger ones are good for networking - yeah, I've met many people at past conferences that I now consider friends... and I'm pretty sure that if I asked them for help in getting my designs published or teaching, I'm sure that they would be happy to help. I just haven't done that yet because I'm happy right now being a nobody. :-) :-) :-) I live in a world filled with Lego's, Thomas the Train, Spider-man and Sesame Street - and I wouldn't want to change any of that. :-) :-) :-)

Your 'nobody but happy' friend,

Pinka